Skinny Bastard

So you’re fat. Big deal. Chances are, you haven’t done so badly, despite the few extra lbs you’re carting around. (Women are so amazing—we can be madly in love with a man, despite how he looks.) But don’t kid yourself, pal: A hot-bodied man is a head-turner. So don’t waste your money on a stupid sports car to get chicks; a woman who cares about
what kind of car a man drives is a vapid, shallow whore. Invest in yourself. (A woman who cares about how a man looks is also a vapid, shallow whore. But at least you’ll look good.) You have only one body to get you through this lifetime. So quit eating crap and abusing yourself! Even if you never look like Brad Pitt, if you’re eating well and exercising, you’ll be healthier, happier, and more confident. Chicks dig that shit.



So strap on a pair. It’s time to get ripped.