Welcome back to Clarkson´s Farm. Since taking the wheel three years ago Jeremy´s had his work cut out. And it´s now clear from hard-won experience that, when it comes to farming, there´s only one golden rule:
Whatever you hope will happen, won´t.
Enthusiastic schemes to diversify have met with stubborn opposition from the red trouser brigade, defeat at the hands of Council Planning department, and predictable derision from Kaleb - although, to be fair, even Lisa had doubts about Jeremy´s brilliant plan to build a business empire founded on rewilding and nettle soup. And only Cheerful Charlie is still smiling about the stifling amount of red tape that´s incoming . . . But he charges by the hour.
Then there are the animals: the sheep are gone; the cows have been joined by a rented bull called Break-Heart Maestro;. the pigs are making piglets; and the goats have turned out to be psychopaths.
But despite the naysayers and (sometimes self-inflicted) setbacks, Jeremy remains irrepressibly optimistic about life at Diddly Squat. Because It´s hard not to be when you get to harvest blackberries with a vacuum cleaner.
And, after all, it shouldn´t just be Break-heart Maestro who gets to enjoy a happy ending . . .